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QUEST Corner
Brent Lamberts
Teenagers make adults anxious. It’s true; I have never encountered an adult
who has never been made anxious at the sight of a teenager in some type of
situation. Think to yourself how many
times you have gone through a mall or down a street and there has been a group
of teens just hanging out, talking and having a good time. Has it ever made you uncomfortable? Have you ever caught yourself saying “man
those kids are probably up to no good” or something along those lines? It seems quite often these days that the
reputation of teenagers is not a reputation most people would probably want. So
how did that reputation come about? That’s an answer that many if not all of us
will never really figure out. Or maybe
it’s something we really don’t want to understand. Either way teens can make us nervous whether
we realize it or not. So why do I bring
that up you may wonder? I bring it up
simply because it is something that we struggle with, not just “us” as a church
but “us” as society. The default
feelings of society when it is in relation to a group of teens is one of
nervousness and sometimes disdain. Why
don’t they get a job or why don’t they stop causing such a problem walking
around in their big groups or things like that are we might often catch
ourselves saying.
It’s hard to believe that those
thoughts are so prevalent in today’s society.
How do we as a group of Christians get to be so judgmental? Now I am not speaking just in terms of our
own youth group but in terms of teenagers in general. I believe the reason for the separation
between teens and adults is a “structural disconnect” and I think Mark
Yaconelli, author of “Contemplative Youth Ministry” sums it up best. “The
separation between adults and youth begins long before adolescence. Many youth spend most of their childhoods
segregated in daycares and schools, afternoons and evenings in front of
televisions and computers, weekends hanging out with friends. By early adolescence most young people are
attuned to a different reality, a different world than adults. The less contact adults have with young
people, the more mysterious they seem.
Adults can fall into the traps of projection, speculation, worry and
fearful imaginings. Congregations and
church leaders find themselves relying on the media to learn about kids. They absorb stories about teenage gangs and
violence, they watch videos and movies that portray teens in a less then ideal
light and we hear new stories and reports about “at risk” kids. And all this becomes a filter of how young
people are perceived. Sadly many adults
are unable to see what the truth is”
Today’s teens are the least violent
and careless of all teens in the last twenty years. Bill Strauss, co author of Millennials
Rising: The Next Generation says; “Never before has there been a generation
that is less violent and less vulgar then the culture being offered them.”
Today’s teens are very impressive in fact, if you look at what society
is presenting to us to see and encounter it is far more intense then what
today’s teens are actually doing. So
would you like to get to know a teen?
Instead of trying to relate to them through what society says is the
cultural norm for kids of today, try to relate to them through actual
encounters. Talk to them, interact with
them and determine what they are like for yourselves, not through what Hollywood says. I think you’ll be surprised.
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